This year, Reader Appreciation Day doubles as Player Appreciation Day!

To say thank you to the readers who have enjoyed my sword-and-sorcery fantasy novels and to promote my upcoming tabletop roleplaying game (TTRPG), I’m sharing some exclusive content from the campaign.

So whether you’re a fan of The Lost Tale of Sir Larpsalot, someone eager for a sneak peek at The Curse of Er’Mah’Gerd, or simply a connoisseur of “the world’s first fantasy roleplaying game,” I humbly submit the stats for a couple of unique creatures and four new spells you can insert into your next 5E encounter:

Creatures

Illustration by Wyatt Knoll (aka The General)

Bedlamb

Easily mistaken for an ordinary lamb, the Funk has rendered this carnivorous creature the proverbial black sheep of its kind. When attacking, it glares with its red eyes and bares its unnaturally sharp teeth.

Small monstrosity, neutral evil

Armor Class: 13 (natural armor)

Hit Points: 33 (6d6 + 12)

Speed: 30 feet

STR 12 (+1)    DEX 12 (+1)    CON 14 (+2)    INT 2 (-4)    WIS 10 (+0)    CHA 5 (-3)

Senses: passive Perception 10

Languages: —

Challenge: 1/4 (50 XP)

Pack Tactics: The bedlamb has advantage on an attack roll against a creature if at least one of the bedlamb’s allies is within 5 feet of the creature and the ally isn’t incapacitated.

Sure-Footed: The bedlamb has advantage on Strength and Dexterity saving throws made against effects that would knock it prone.

ACTIONS

Bite: Melee Weapon Attack: +3 to hit, reach 5 feet, one target. Hit: 4 (1d6 + 1) piercing damage.

Lullableat: The bedlamb targets a creature that can hear within 20 feet with its hypnotic cry. The target must succeed on a DC 12 Wisdom saving throw, or it falls asleep. The creature can be shaken awake with an action. It also awakens if it takes damage.

REACTIONS

Opportunity Attack: When a creature the bedlamb can see within 5 feet of it moves out of its reach, the bedlamb makes a melee attack against it.

Nerf Herder

Human shepherds corrupted by the Funk sometimes transform into nerf herders. Whether dressed in the billowing robe of desert-dwelling sheepherders or the common tunic of woodland peasants—and regardless of its age or gender—the malevolent nerf herder is always scruffy.

Medium humanoid (human), neutral evil

Armor Class: 13 (leather armor)

Hit Points: 78 (12d8 + 24)

Speed: 30 feet

STR 12 (+1)    DEX 14 (+2)    CON 15 (+2)    INT 12 (+1)    WIS 17 (+3)    CHA 12 (+1)

Senses: passive Perception 14

Languages: Common

Challenge: 1 (200 XP)

Special Equipment: boots of dwarven tread (ignore all difficult terrain)

Innate Spellcasting: The nerf herder’s innate spellcasting ability is Wisdom (spell save DC 13, +5 to hit with spell attacks). It can innately cast the following spells, requiring no components:

  • At will: mild hallucination, phlegm flam, roast
  • 3/day: bamf

ACTIONS

Crooked Crook: Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 feet, one target. Hit: 11 (2d8 + 2) bludgeoning damage, and the target must succeed on a DC 13 Wisdom saving throw or have its AC reduced by 1 for the next 1 minute. Subsequent hits have a cumulative effect on the target’s armor class.

REACTIONS

Opportunity Attack: When a creature the nerf herder can see within 5 feet of it moves out of its reach, the nerf herder makes a melee attack against it.

Woolen Fortitude: When a bedlamb that the nerf herder can see is reduced to 0 hit points, the nerf herder extends a hand and wills the creature to live. If the nerf herder succeeds on a DC 15 Wisdom check, the bedlamb is instead reduced to 1 hit point.

Spells

Illustration by Wyatt Knoll (aka The General)

Bamf

1st-level conjuration

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: Self

Components: V

Duration: Instantaneous

A cloud of dark blue smoke engulfs you, and you teleport up to 25 feet to an unoccupied space that you can see.

When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the distance increases by 10 feet for each slot level above 1st. For example, if a 2nd-level spell slot is used, you teleport up to 35 feet.

Mild Hallucination

Illusion cantrip

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: 30 feet

Components: S

Duration: 1 minute

You create a phantom smell, disembodied sound, or simple image of an object (only one of the three) within range for up to 1 minute.

If a creature uses its action to examine the hallucination, the creature can determine that it is fake with a successful Intelligence (Investigation) check against your spell save DC. On a failure, the creature suffers 1 point of psychic damage. If a creature discerns the illusion for what it is, it vanishes. The hallucination also ends if you dismiss it as an action or cast this spell again.

Phlegm Flam

Conjuration cantrip

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: 60 feet

Components: V, S

Duration: Instantaneous

You lob a blob of putrid green slime at a creature you can see within range. Make a ranged spell attack against the target. On a hit, the target takes 1d10 acid damage.

Roast

Enchantment cantrip

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: 60 feet

Components: V

Duration: Instantaneous

You unleash a barrage of scathing insults saturated with fire magic at a creature you can see within range. If the target can hear you (though it need not understand you), it must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC or take 1d4 fire damage and have disadvantage on its next attack roll.

The Curse of ER’Mah’Gerd

In case it isn’t clear from the content above, The Curse of Er’Mah’Gerd is a playful, pun-filled adventure. This scalable 5E campaign is designed for newcomers to tabletop gaming as well as established players who might appreciate a lighthearted and, at times, irreverent approach to questing.

Learn More